Friday, May 3, 2013

Failure, maybe?

This is something I have struggled with many times over my 34 years on this earth, failure. Starting something to only finish halfway or not even attempting before I even get started. In July it will be a year since I started WW. The last time I weighed like I was suppose to was February 22nd. As of that date I had lost almost 39lbs. I weighed this morning and I have gained about 13 pounds back. I'm not surprised.

We went to New York in December, then it was Christmas, then New Years and then I joined the gym and then life just got in the way. I quit tracking because I thought I could just keep up in my head. I thought well I'm maintaining this weight so I'm okay. Nope, doesn't work that way. I think I got burnt out on eating the same things over and over again. I got tired of tracking everything single thing on my phone. Stresses from life seemed to derail me as well. More often than not, I found myself eating ice cream, cake, chips whatever late at night after everyone else has gone to bed. I guess that was my distressing technique.

I failed again. I had goals that I wanted to reach. I had hoped to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight (like before Lauren) by this summer. If I had kept on track I would almost be there now. But instead I have got to lose this 13 lbs I have gained before I can keep going.

I will do this. I have to. I see what lies ahead for me in the future and I need to delay that for as long as possible, meaning diabetes, heart disease, and what ever else that will happen to me because I haven't taken care of this body.

I'm hoping that I can get back into exercising. I know this summer that is definitely going to be priority. I just know that I have to lose it. I have to get gung ho again and get back on track. I've done it before and I know I can do it again.


  1. I saw a few of your pictures on FB, and I thought you looked great. I would have never known you had gained weight back. I started working out in February, cutting out sweet tea (my addiction) and counting calories. I lost ZERO, and in fact, I gained two pounds. I have lost steam because it is so discouraging. You can do it!!!

  2. It is so hard! I need to lose around 15 pounds to be at my ore pregnancies weight. 15 pounds isn't that much, but it often feels overwhelming. I don't want Maggie and Ellie to have the same issues with food that I do, so I try to use that as a daily motivation to make good choices.