Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Update on Baby Brooke

We went to the doctor today. Brooke is still head down and the ultrasound tech estimated her to weigh around 8lbs., 8 ozs. I am a "loose" 1 cm and I guess thinned out some. Dr. K never did say. But instead of being induced on Friday, we are now going in Saturday morning. Kind of throws a kink in things but you know what, at this point in time, I just don't care:). Brooke will eventually get here sooner or later. Maybe we'll go on our own....who knows?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Reflecting and looking ahead....

Now that I have had a chance to calm down and reflect, I'm okay with what happened yesterday. I was so unhappy that we didn't get to have Brooke yesterday. I was so ready to meet this precious baby as was the rest of my family and friends. However, it wasn't in God's plan or in my little wiggle worm's plan. Brooke definitely has a mind of her own:).

Mark and I had a day of rest yesterday after we came home from the hospital. My mother in law had the girls so we didn't have to worry about them until late yesterday evening. I spent the day on the couch dozing and watching TV, reflecting on the situation.

I know it is for the best and I appreciate my doctor for doing what is best. I think he realized that it wasn't that I wanted to have surgery, it's that I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore and ready to meet my baby girl. He told me before he left that we would have something worked out this week. I left knowing we could possibly have her this week but more than likely the next week.

I got a call on my cell a little before 5pm yesterday and it was my doc. He has set up an induction for Friday morning. Mark and I will be yet again heading to the hospital this week. Unless I go into labor on my own, Brooke will be born on May 27th which is the day my doc wanted us to wait for anyways. I have had some change, I was 1 cm dilated yesterday and he stripped my membranes. We go back to the dr on Wednesday so maybe there will be a little more change so that by Friday, we will have a somewhat quick labor and hopefully, please Dear Lord, a not so long delivery:).

With my other two children, I went past my due date and had to be induced both times. I don't dilate on my own and I don't go into labor on my own. I know how to grow babies and do it just fine, but they love to stay cozy inside Mommy. They aren't easy to push out either. Pushing for 3 hours is hard and the effects of that is worse than actual delivery itself and I'll be quite honest, I was looking forward to not having to worry about that since I would be having a section. I'm truly praying this time that labor will be smooth and that because she won't be overdue that maybe I won't be pushing for so long. I know that Brooke will be big but I'm used to that.

So, my little wiggle worm, that has a mind of her own, who is already stubborn in the womb and who is definitely going to give me a run for my money, will be here sometime on Friday. The thing that makes me sad though is that I'll be missing my big girl's dance recital. I've ordered the DVD so eventually I will get to see it. I've explained it to them both and they are okay. They understand that I'll be in the hospital with Brooke. I know that both of them will do a great job and look absolutely beautiful!!

Pretty soon, this family of four is going to be a family of five and I can't wait for the magic to begin!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Not today.....

You know when you were little and your parents told you about a trip you were going on or getting ready to visit a friend and then it didn't happen. How disappointed you were and a little devastated. That is how I feel right now. Disappointed and devastated.

Brooke is not coming today. She is head down. I am disappointed that I won't get to meet my newest little girl and devastated that I don't know when she'll come. I know that pregnancy is unpredictable but still it was nice to already have a date set without have to worry about scrambling at the last minute.

My girls are going to be disappointed and devastated. They were ready to meet their baby sister.

She'll eventually get here.......:)

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Just what I wanted to hear.....NOT REALLY!!!!!!

(Be prepared, this is a long one)

Well, for the few of you that read this blog, you all know that we have planned to have Baby Brooke by c-section on May 23. This was set by one of the doctor's in my practice a week ago because Brooke is breech. Yesterday, I had my weekly appointment. She had me set it up with my primary doctor because in that practice they like for the primary's to do any type of surgery on their patient's if possible. I knew I was going to be in trouble and Mark definitely knew I was going to be in trouble.....

I asked Mark to go with me for some support. As soon as we arrived at the office, they called us back. The one good thing I can say about this appointment is that I haven't gained any more weight and my blood pressure is still good. We go into the room and I get situated on the table and Dr. K comes in. Already by the look on his face, I can tell he is not going to give me news that I want to hear. Now, let me tell you about Dr. K. He is an awesome doctor. When we had our first miscarriage 7 years ago, he was the doc that took care of us. He was very understanding and compassionate and I so appreciated that at the time. He is from the old school, wants nature to take it course, no medical intervention unless absolutely necessary, blah, blah, blah, you get the picture. So as I'm sitting on the table, he starts looking through my chart and Mark starts to smirk. And as Dr. K begins to speak, he says, "Well, here's the thing......"

He doesn't want to do the c-section. Period..... He doesn't feel that it is necessary and that Brooke will turn on her on. Immediately, Mark starts laughing and I feel like I could cry a stinking river!!!!! He starts his spill but then stops and decides to palpate my uterus and do a check before he gives me the rest of his opinion. Guess what folks? She is still breech!!!!!!!!!!!!
Checked my cervix, tight as a tick and still thick, nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is going on downstairs and I'm stinking 38 and half weeks pregnant with my third pregnancy!!!!!!!!!!! She is not going to come out on her own. News flash!!!!

So, he begins his talk again. He believes (and I know he knows more than I, he is the doctor) that #1 he can turn her successfully, and #2 that with time, she'll turn on her own and then we can have a natural birth. I immediately said no to the version. He said I should have no problem since this is my third baby, but you know what, I don't like pain unless I absolutely have to feel it and I'm sure as heck not going to let some doctor put me in pain for something that only has a 60% chance of working. And about her turning, this child has been breech for the most part of the pregnancy. I just didn't know that that hard bump I have been feeling was her head and not her butt:) She hasn't turned in about 3 weeks and quite honestly I don't think she is going to. So then he proceeds to say that he wants us to wait, have another ultrasound in a week and check her position and if she is still head up, have the section on Friday May 27. WHY WAIT 4 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What difference will that do!!!!!!!!!!!? (Can you tell I'm a little frustrated...) But, (there's always a but) if she has turned head down, then he says we can induce the following week AFTER HER DUE DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because, it's Memorial Day weekend, you know!! Oh and I had let him know about he girls' dance recital that weekend? Yeah, he says he doesn't do surgeries for social reasons and I told him I understood that but yet he won't induce until after Memorial Day weekend......ugh!!! He informed of all that risks and all that and if I had any more babies what that would get the picture.

Now mind you, the whole time, Mark is laughing and carrying on, I'm trying not to cry so I'm laughing some too, and Dr. K is a little as well. I told him how unbelievably miserable I am and all that and finally he told me it was up to me and just gave me his medical recommendations. He had a great way of making someone feel extremely guilty. And, then he tells us that the doctor last week estimated Brooke to weigh on 5 lbs. 11ozs. I laughed and said that is CRAP (sorry for the vulgarity). She couldn't get a good measurement on Brooke's legs cause they were tucked under and she even said that. There is absolutely no way that Brooke weighs that. I'm as big now as I was when I delivered Claire at 8 days late. I reminded Dr. K too that both of the girls were late and I had to be induced with them. At this point, I think he realized that I wasn't going to change my mind and decided to finish up the appointment before he dug himself any deeper. For those of you who know Mark, he was just eating this up. I love my husband:)

Mark and I left, went shopping and we talked. We weighed the pros and cons. I called family and friends, got opinions and we have ultimately decided to keep the surgery date and proceed with the section. Mark also pointed out that what if she really is that little and something is wrong and that makes me feel like we should definitely proceed. Now, Dr. K. will do an ultrasound before he performs the surgery and if she has turned head down, if the dr. on call will take me on, we will proceed with an induction but only if they are willing to take me as their patient. It's one of the female docs in the practice, I hope they will sympathize:)

I would rather have Brooke the all natural way as God intended but I feel in my heart that she isn't going to turn and I don't want to play the waiting game, been there done that with my other two. We have the date set, Lauren and Claire are taken care of, and we are prepared for this. I'm just scared that if we wait and she doesn't turn, 2 weeks after my due date she is still breech and we wind up having a section anyways.

So, we are still on for May 23. I have got to get my house cleaned, clothes washed, hospital bag packed, girls' packed for an extended stay at Nana's, Lauren and Claire's school schedules taken care of and get mentally prepared for the arrival of Brooke in 4 days. It will all go according to God's plan and I feel at peace with this decision. Just say a little prayer for us that all will go well:)

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Rain, Rain.....It stayed away!!!!

We made it through. Allie and Walker are officially husband and wife and are now on their honeymoon!! The Good Lord held back the rain last night and the ceremony was beautiful. Allie looked absolutely stunning, the bridesmaids were beautiful, the flower girls and ring bearer were precious and the groomsmen were beyond handsome. Baby Brooke cooperated and allowed me to do my duty as Matron of Honor!

The reception was awesome as well. My mom and sister did the wedding cake and all I can say is exquisite!! My family is so talented. The food was good and the dancing was fun. My two little dancing queens wore the dance floor out!!! Claire crashed about 10pm and Lauren lasted til 11:30pm. They partied like it was no tomorrow which I'm sure made their Aunt Allie happy!!!

This was a beautiful day and a great start for a very deserving couple. We now have a new brother in the family and we love him so much!!! Once again, congratulations to Allie and Walker!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

It's Wedding Day!!!!!!!!!!

The day has finally arrived!! Nine months ago (exactly) Walker proposed to Allie (my sis-in-law) and now after so many months of planning, we have arrived at the Wedding Day!!! I am so excited!! We had rehearsal last night and it went wonderfully! They are getting married at a local golf course that has a old mill house on the site. It is rustic and weathered and absolutely gorgeous. I can't wait to see how it turns out.

Right now, the girls are still sleeping with sponge rollers in their hair and in just a little while the preparations are going to begin. At rehearsal last night, Lauren and Claire were both so excited. They practiced their walk and did a great job. Lauren gets to stand beside me and Claire, well, she is going to do whatever:) That's my girl! I can't wait to see them both with their hair fixed and beautiful dresses on. I just know that I'm gonna cry!! And, Baby Brooke will be there in all her mommy's swollen belly glory!

I am so unbelievably happy for Allie. I have watched her grow up from the preteen to an outstanding and beautiful woman and I truly count it an honor to stand beside her today as her Matron of Honor!! She is the little sister that I didn't have and I love her with all my heart. She is marrying her prince today and I only wish a happily ever after for them both. Today is going to be full of Magic as only the McCain's know how to do it!!

Congratulations to Allie and Walker!! We love you so much!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Well, that's different......

I had my regular weekly ob appointment today and received some exciting but different news. I went in with hopes high, hoping to be dilated a little more, effaced some but I got something totally different.

Brooke is a very active baby inside the womb. She squirms and kicks and moves very frequently. I love feeling her. She is much more active than her sisters ever were. Yesterday, as I was walking into work, I felt her kicking really, really low and knew she had changed positions yet again. Her body has flip-flopped from the left to right but she prefers to be on the left side. Yesterday, she was just everywhere.

So today, the Dr. measures my tummy and tells me it looks good. She tries to find Brooke's heart beat on the right side but without any luck. She moves the doppler to the left side and finds it but it more towards the middle of my tummy. So then she does the dreaded internal exam and proceeds to tell me that the baby is high and she is going to do a quick ultrasound to check for the presentation. So she wands down and says,"Well, that's why I couldn't feel the head, it's not there, that's a butt." Brooke is breech.

She is breech. Her head is up on the right hand side of my body, her little body goes down the left hand side and her legs and bum are down low, her legs curled up. The doctor proceeds then to do a full ultrasound, measuring amniotic fluid and the baby. I was kind of in shock. Lauren and Claire were always head down and this was something we didn't have to worry about.

So once she completed the ultrasound, she starts talking me about turning the baby. I already knew that wouldn't be an option for me. I have heard that is a very painful procedure and when it comes to pain, I'm wimp. Plus, she told me that my amniotic fluid is low and that my placenta is lying on the frontal lobe of my uterus, so if the docs were to try and move Brooke into a head down position, the placenta could detach or tear and it just isn't worth it. And, there is only a 60-80% chance it would be successful and that just isn't enough for me. So, with all that being said.....

Brooke is scheduled to be born on May 23, 2011 via c-section. I will have to say I'm kind of excited that we have a date set. However, things could change if she decides to move head down and I don't know what will happen then. I don't know if they will go ahead with the c-section or induce me or what. We'll have to see. That is a mere week and a half away!! I've been praying that the Lord will let this baby come before her due date and I think He has answered my prayers!!! Now, don't get me wrong, I would rather have her naturally but all I care about it that she is born healthy and I don't care how that happens. Just as long as she comes healthy!! So, we are going to be getting prepared for the upcoming arrival of our new baby girl very, very soon!!!!!!!!!

Friday, May 6, 2011

God's Timing

It's amazing how the Lord works. Everything happens on His timetable regardless of how much we plan or in our case, don't plan. A year ago this past week, we found out we were pregnant with our third baby. Now, let me remind you, I'm a lab tech, I have access to pregnancy tests that most women don't. That is a blessing and a curse all at the same time. I can find out way sooner than most people! But anyways, let me start by saying we weren't trying to have a baby. AT ALL!! We actually had decided that we would wait until Claire was in kindergarten before we even thought of having a third child. This pregnancy took us completely by surprise. So much for me, that the night I found out, I got so upset that I almost hyperventilated at work and coughed so hard that I bruised my ribs (let me tell you, that is painful). We had no idea when we conceived this child. I called Mark from work, he was sleeping and cried my way through telling him. He told me it would be fine and would talk about it when I got home in the morning. I was very upset and didn't know how we would handle this pregnancy, where would we put this baby, etc. I really was beside myself with worry.

Well, as the week progressed I came to terms with knowing we were going to have another baby and even started to get a little excited about it. Mark was still reserved, he is that way when we get pregnant because my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage 7 years ago. I started thinking about ways to tell the girls and tell our family. Would this be our chance to have a boy? I had even called and made my first doctor's appointment. Thursday evening, I started spotting. I called my friend who had most recently had a baby to ask her about the symptoms even though I kind of new what what was going on. By Friday, I knew that we weren't pregnant any longer. I called my doctor and was told that most likely I had gotten a false positive pregnancy test and was just late. Let me tell you this, I am never late, ever! I was so angry. I took two different tests by two different methods at work and I do pregnancy tests for a living!!!!!!! I cried and cried and cried. This brought back memories from our first loss. I called my best friend and let her know because I just needed someone to talk to. Mark was sympathetic but as a man, he just doesn't understand the feelings that women do. Needless to say, it was very tough but this time around, I had two beautiful blessings that helped to take my mind off of the loss. (Later on in the day, I did some research on the Internet and we figure that we had what is called a chemical pregnancy, where the egg and sperm meet and the egg starts producing the HCG hormone but dies before it has a chance to implant.)

That was Mother's Day weekend a year ago. That was a very tough weekend. However, I made it through and received one of the greatest blessings of my life. This loss made me realize that Mark and I were meant to have another baby but this wasn't the right time. God was going to let it happen on His timetable and we were prepared for that.

On September 19, 2010, we found out we were pregnant again. This time we did know when we conceived although, we weren't trying again. Now, I'm sure that some of you will laugh at this, yeah right weren't trying. Let's just say we got caught up in the heat of the moment:). And again, we were very guarded. I had actually done a pregnancy test before I missed my period and it was negative. We didn't think we were and was actually disappointed however, sometimes modern medicine just doesn't work. Again, I was at work and took another test and this time, it was positive. It wasn't such a surprise since we knew when we had "messed up." My feelings this time around were completely different from 3 months before and I know that it was because of the good Lord.

Now we are at the end of the pregnancy and just a few short weeks away from meeting this precious baby. God knew exactly what He was doing a year ago just like He knows exactly what He is doing today. I'm glad that everything works in His timing and not mine. He is an awesome God and if you don't know Him, I encourage you to seek Him out. Regardless of the things that happen in our lives that we don't understand, He does and He has a purpose for everything. I know that one day, I'll get to meet those two precious souls in Heaven and I take comfort in knowing that they are up there with Him.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

One of those days.....

Have you ever had one of those days or for me, one of those weeks where you just aren't motivated to anything at all? I seem to have those quite often here recently and I can only attribute it to being very pregnant and tired. As of today, I am 36 weeks, 4 days preggers and I have absolutely no energy at all. If I even just sit down to watch the tv for a second, I could fall asleep! I don't remember being like this with my other two pregnancies.

I have so much to do before Brooke comes. Here we are in May already and I have yet to clean out my girls' closets, switching them from winter clothes to spring/summer clothes. I am getting clothes out of storage bins and trash bags and them just piling them willy nilly about the house. I have yet to finish getting things ready for Brooke. Although, she will have clean clothes to wear:) One day I got the urge to wash all of the hand me down baby clothes so I'm definitely prepared for that.

I truly think I'm just very overwhelmed right now. My awesome sister in law is getting married in 9 days, I'm the matron of honor and Lauren and Claire are the flower girls. I think subconsciously that if I do too much I might put myself in labor and then I'll miss the wedding and this is my one and only chance to be a matron of honor!!!! My due date is May 29 and the girls' dance recital is May 28th and I'm so afraid I'm going to miss that, too.

I will get all of the things finished that I need to. Another thing that adds to the mix this week is I just worked night shift this past weekend and it's taking me twice as long to recover from that. Trying to go from days to nights is not an easy feat even when you aren't pregnant and this time around it's very hard. When I was pregnant with Claire, I had this same work schedule but Lauren wasn't in elementary school at that time and I could sleep the day away on Mondays. Can't do that now! I just have to keep reminding myself that I only have one more night shift to work and I'll be done with that for 3 months!! Well, I should say I'll have a modified night shift because of feedings and diaper changes and Brooke having her days and nights mixed up. However, I'll be home for that and not working at a hospital!

I'm sure those that read this will be thinking I'm just whining about stuff but honestly I'm not. I'm scared about this new baby, how am I going to handle 3 kids and all of the other everyday things I have to do as a stay at home mom? I can't even get a grip on the things I have to do now with just 2? I will get it all done, eventually. Just have to keep the faith and do a little at a time. The Good Lord never puts any more on a person than they can handle and I know with His guidance, I'll be just fine. There is going to be A LOT of PRAYING going on in this house, I'm sure!!! Thanks for letting me vent. This is a stress reliever and now I feel like I can get a few things accomplished!!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

36 Weeks!

We are now officially 9 months pregnant. I am SO READY for this little one to be born. Between the "I can't tell where my legs stop and my ankles begin, to I can't sleep in my bed at all because it hurts too much," I am physically ready. Don't ask if we are ready as far as my house is concerned. We have all of the essentials but they certainly aren't where they should be. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want her to come early but I would LOVE for her to come on time. Lauren was 5 days overdue and Claire was 8 days overdue AND I had to be induced both times. I'm really hoping and praying that Baby Brooke will make her debut on her own, however, it's highly unlikely. I go to the doctor tomorrow and see my regular Ob/gyn. I just hope he doesn't fuss at my weight gain (way more than the 10-15lbs. I was only supposed to gain). And, I'm hoping to have some change going on. Maybe the 3rd time will be the charm:)