An Ending to a Milk Era....

It has come to an end.  All of the hard work and determination I had for 12 months has ceased. Brooke drank her last breast milk bottle (her last bottle ever) last night.  I thawed out my last bag. It's kind of weird actually.  She's had a bottle literally every night for the past 13 months and now we are done.  I just hope that we can get her down tonight without a bottle.  Thank goodness for the paci and her blankie.:)

I made it for a whole year.  I pumped for an ENTIRE YEAR.  Do you know who awesome that makes me feel?  To accomplish a goal I set out to do even with some setbacks.  I'm so proud of myself.  Honestly, I didn't think I would make it.  Pumping was a full time job in and of itself but I was determined and doggone it, I did it!!!

I pumped for the last time on Brooke's actual birthday, May 27, 2012.  It was kind of bittersweet knowing that something I had done every day, sometimes multiple times a day was ending.  I was happy, don't get me wrong, knowing I didn't have to lug that pump everywhere I went.  I think at times I was more attached to the pump then I was Brooke.  My "girls" and I had a very intimate relationship and I will have to say I'm glad that that relationship is now over.

I look back of the last year and think how on this earth did I do it?  Juggling all the duties of a new baby, taking care of my 7 year old and her needs, my 4 year old and her needs.  Driving here there and everywhere to preschool, elementary school, dance class, church, the grocery store plus doctor visits and just every day trips.  All of this while my husband was out of town for the most part, working 18 hour days, leaving in the morning and not coming home until the kids were in bed.  I pumped through it all and I'm sure some people think it's not that big of a deal, but it was.  This past year was hard for me. For me, going from 2 independent children to 3 kids, one needing everything was hard.  I couldn't just pick up and go anytime.  My house is constantly cluttered.  Laundry is always needing to be done.  I don't cook that much because for one, I'm not that good at it and two, I hate cooking.  I can't find time to exercise and when I do finally have time, I'm too pooped to even try.  I don't have enough hands, I'm completely outnumbered and it is stressful.  I admire those mama's who have many kids, who are like Mother Earth and feed their kids wholesome meals and their houses are always spotless and they breast feed and are as skinny as a rail.  I wish I were that but I'm not.  I have found that I constantly compare myself to those mama's and just set myself up for disappointment so making it a whole year pumping was one of the greatest accomplishments in my whole life.

So on to an new era, raising an almost 8 year old, a sassy 5 year old and a 1 year old destructo.   These girls have my heart in their hands and I love them with every fiber of my being.  The hubs won't be out of town too much (crossing my fingers on this one) and hopefully this year I can concentrate on me, getting myself into a much healthier state and losing three pregnancies' worth of weight.

I feel like its going to be a bumpy ride, I need to make sure to hang on for dear life:)!!